Friday, June 24, 2011

Slick Dick


Leakage, man lube, pre-jac, pre-cum. Whatever you choose to call it, it’s purpose is threefold. I bring this up because a recent forum post (with accompanying Poll) begged the question as to the typical amount or if many guys preferred supplementing their jack off sessions with a lubricant. The original poster also stated he wasn’t quite sure what purpose pre-cum served, but guessed it was to neutralize acidic properties. Well, he was partially correct.

Pre-ejaculate is for neutralizing the acidic residual traces of urine in the urethra, creating a more favorable environment for the passage of sperm. The vagina is normally acidic, so the deposit of pre-jizz before the emission of semen may assist in the change of vaginal environment to promote sperm survival.

Pre-cum also acts as a coagulant (known as ‘viscosity’ in semen fertility tests) which thickens the cum, making it cling to the vaginal and uterine walls to lengthen the viable time for fertilization. Men who do not produce any noticeable amount of pre-ejaculate beyond what is needed to neutralize the urethra are often benefited by actively exercising the pubococcygeus (there’re those Kegel muscles again!), releasing a small amount of seminal fluid before the full-blown blast of ball batter.

It also functions as a lubricant to assist in penetration. And, of course, lube adds a new dimension when you’re whacking off. Some guys (as mentioned above) need additional lube or the result can mean raw, reddened, and/or sore meat. I know, I know – lot’s of guys like dry-jacking. I do it myself quite often, but I’m also one of those men who’s pre-cum flows like the Mississippi; it usually starts before I even get a hard-on. And the sensation of a slicked-up hand really adds to the pleasure.

There are plenty of household items that are quite commonly used: Albolene (a moisturizing make-up remover) is quite popular, as is baby oil, hand lotion, and I’ve found olive oil works pretty well. Those are great of you feel the need to hide your solo sessions from prying eyes. But, as I’ve said before, I still don’t know why anyone feels the need to hide this particular pastime. The commercial lubricants sold (almost) everywhere these days are quite good – many are better than household substitutes – they’re long-lasting, some have added benefits like cooling or warming sensations, and a variety of flavorings for those who might like the occasional finger-licking when stroking away. And many brands have small bottles which can be stashed in a drawer or under the mattress.

Having a bottle of lube is no different than the all-important cum rag. As any men’s advice columnist would tell you, a man’s bedside toolkit should always include the following accessories: A small vibrator, a cock ring, a cum rag, condoms, and (latex safe) lube. So, do yourself a favor. The next time you’re out shopping pick up a bottle. And guys, while you’re at it, grab a bottle for your son(s). You know damn well they pound the pud a lot more often than you do – hey! you remember being a horny teenager with a perpetual hard-on, right? There’s no reason your kid(s) should end up with a sore pecker when the solution is so readily handy.

Another reason to provide your teenage son(s) with lube: This is the time guys should learn what feels good, what brings them to the edge and what sends them over it; learning control is tantamount to a satisfying release. If they don’t have the opportunity to grease up real well in practice sessions, the first time they dip that stick, the unfamiliar sensations of wetness will combine with an already heightened level of excitement and bam! Because my father preferred talking to me and my brother with the business end of a razor strap rather than having us beating our meat, the first time I had sex with a girl there was no thrusting involved. As soon as I plumbed the depths of that warm, wet cave I flooded it. Sadly, for both of us, I was done before I ever started.

You single mom’s out there, you are not exempt! If there’s no male role model to handle the deed for you, you’ll just have to suck it up and provide this necessary tool for your kid’s tool. And if for some reason any of you, moms or dads alike, are too embarrassed to hand your kid a bottle of lube, leave it as a gift on the pillow…maybe with a note that says “Help yourself.”
Now, lube up and go for it!
(Sorry for the repeat pics, everyone...it'll take a while to build up a new library.)

No comments:

Post a Comment