I Mean, Really?

On my way out to meet a friend for breakfast this morning, the DJ’s on the local radio station were discussing “solitaire” – yep, the discussion was surrounding a report about a woman who had sent an item in for forensic investigation because she suspected her husband of jacking off. She was highly offended and said it would be cheating on her. I got in on the middle of the conversation, but I think there was some talk of divorce proceedings, her grounds being infidelity. My first thought was, “This poor guy! He should be the one filing for divorce; he’d be a hell of a lot better off without her.” My second thought was, “Is this woman joking?!?” I was stunned, though. That kind of attitude, in this day and age? Hell, even the DJ’s (one of them a woman, by the way) agreed that this is normal activity with guys, it comes with the territory.

My gosh! Divorce because her husband whacks off!?! I’d have to say that somewhere along the line, this woman got some brain wires crossed. Or she was raised in an ultra-extreme religious environment. I hate to broach politics here, but it is entangled; like it or not. Considering the merry-go-round in the GOP primary of extreme right-wingers, those “faith based” candidates who want to turn the clocks back to the 1950’s, back to a time when nighttime erections, wet dreams, and masturbation were considered to be disgusting and evil.

How do we stop our society from returning to the Dark Ages? Don’t allow anyone – anyone – to tell you jacking off is wrong. Point them to the medical community, which has been saying for well over a decade that masturbation is good for us (that includes you, Ladies!). It’s a normal, healthy activity; it relieves stress, reduces high blood pressure, lowers the risk of prostate cancer, among a host of other positive things.

I would like to imagine this man lying in the middle of the bed, stark naked, stroking his steel hard cock, which is leaking gallons of pre-cum, and he spews gigantic geysers of cum just as she walks in the room. As she is standing there, mouth agape, he gets up, his cock still half hard, shoves divorce papers at her, and with a glare in his eyes shows her the front door. Then he kicks back on the couch and rubs out another load.