WTF???

What the Fuck?!?

Well, I had today’s post all ready to go… Then I was doing some research for a piece I’m writing and stumbled across some chick’s blog. She was telling women about their men jerkin’ the gherkin. No wonder women can’t handle a cock! If they’re getting advice from other women – especially if it’s as poor as this chick was handing out (pardon the pun)… Well, at least she was right about a couple things; that we jack off for many different reasons and our girlfriends/wives shouldn’t let it bother them.

But she totally blew it when she decided to spell out instructions on how to whack off a guy.

Ladies, ladies, ladies! Listen up: There is much more to a hand job than wrapping your fist around our fuck-sticks and “rubbing it back and forth, or up and down if you want.” What kind of bullshit advice is that?!?! You can’t handle our cocks like a gearshift on a car and really expect us to think that feels good. And playing with our balls is a lot more than what this woman would lead you to believe; certainly much more than: “Feel and hold his balls.” We love to have our nuts massaged and bounced and tugged on (gently!); lick ‘em and suck on them.



massage the balls like this



and this

For the love of all that’s good and right about a hard-on, engage other parts! We are so much more than our dicks. Our pecs can feel just as sensual as your tits and our nipples get hard just like yours do. For me, as I discovered during a massage, there’s a spot on my feet… The masseur was surprised to see my cock spring up but, God bless him, he didn’t freak out – he massaged that too! And did a damn fine job of it, I might add.

Yep, we do stroke our schlongs for all kinds of reasons – each one requiring a different type of manipulation. But I think that’s a whole new post for a different day. Keep checking back, ladies, and maybe you’ll learn something about the real art of charming the one-eyed snake because, if you want to do it right, it is an art!